Lakeside

How to help a child with disabilities develop better self-esteem

A healthy child develops a sense of self and a self-concept (including self-esteem) at the same developmental ages and stages. A child with disabilities develops this way as well, but his/her challenges may impact the quality of self-esteem. However, a child with autism spectrum disorder or similiar syndrome, who has more difficulty distinguishing between self and others may have difficulty developing a sense of competence. 

Self-concept and children with physical or intellectual challenges

Father and disabled son enjoying time together
Although most children with disabilities go through the same stages of development of self and self-esteem, in many cases, the quality of their self-esteem may be different than that of children without these challenges.

Although most children with disabilities go through the same stages of development of self and self-esteem, in many cases, the quality of their self-esteem may be different than that of children without these challenges.  This can be due to a number of issues as follows: 

  • They may have a great deal of difficulty controlling parts of their bodies and doing certain tasks of activities. 
  • Reactions of other people, particularly other children, may draw attention to their disability. They may be teased them about it. 
  • Being with children without disabilities in integrated settings may make the child with disabilities more aware of difficulty doing certain things. 
  • In some cases, children have a more difficult temperament (or their biochemical make-up may make them more easily frustrated or upset). 
  • They have difficulty keeping up with other children in the same group environment.
  • Various medical interventions may contribute to the child’s sense of having-a-damaged-body-self and may create a sense of people in the outside world as physically hurtful.
  • The children may have experienced periods of relative isolation from other children due to illness or hospitalization. 
  • Caregivers may either expect too much or too little of these children.

Strategies to encourage self-esteem for a child with disabilities

When children with disabilities do seem to be developing poor self-esteem it is important to encourage caregivers to practice these four strategies:

  • Listen to what the child is saying about how he/she is feeling and what he/she identifies as the situations that cause incompetent or negative feelings.
  • Observe the child with other children individually and in groups to identify interactions or situations that may be contributing to low self-esteem.
  • Consider situations or tasks that may be particularly distressing or difficult for the child.
  • Identify areas of competence.

As caregivers are clear about the issues that lead to poor self-esteem and carefully observe challenged children as they interact with others, they will be better able to help them cope with a world in which they struggle to be a part of.  In so doing, we can better normalize their everyday lives and help them realize their unique capabilities, strengths and giftedness. This is a beginning to help our precious children with disabilities. More to come to help caregivers in my next post.

Gerry Vassar, President/CEO, Lakeside Educational Network

Information taken from Pathways to Competence, Sarah Landy, p. 355.

 

 

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