Each year we begin our summer with the holiday that is purposed to remember those who have lost their lives in the service of our country. Memorial Day not only launches the summer vacation season but also gives us opportunity to appreciate our freedom and the lives that were sacrificed to make it possible.
However, there is another perspective on this day of remembrance. If you speak to veterans who survived some of the fiercest battles where lives of their comrades were lost, you will hear a different perspective. They actually see the faces of many of their friends who were lost. Some who were in a position of leadership recognize that they made decisions to send fellow military soldiers to their demise.
I just listened to an interview with a veteran who was in Viet Nam in a leadership role. Each year he makes the trek to a Viet Nam War Memorial where the names of the lost lives are listed. He was one of those who was a commander who sent many into battle, many of whom did not return. He sat on a bench with tears in his eyes over those who were lost, feeling a level of survivor’s guilt over the fact that he was still alive and they were not.
This is an intense perspective that our veterans experience in moments of reflection. Some of them will ponder the question of “How come they died and I did not?” It almost feels like an injustice to them, and for many of them it is a question that they ask every day of their lives. They feel a sense of deep grief, loss and injustice. When they reflect on Memorial Day, it has a depth of sorrow that is unique to those who lived the experience of losing lives to the battles they so valiantly fought.
For these veterans, the battle continues. It is not physically on the battlefield but an internal one that is a traumatic imprint of all that happened to them and their fellow comrades. Every veteran has different coping skills, but many of them continue to have post-traumatic stress where they relive those horrid moments of violence and loss of life. It can be haunting, depressing and can cause significant life crisis.
Perhaps when we think of those who have sacrificed their lives for our freedom on this holiday, we should also remember those who are still alive who are experiencing a different Memorial Day perspective. As family members, friends or community members, these veterans continue to bear the scars of the loss of those they served with who paid the ultimate price. Not only should we remember those lost ones, but those who are still impacted by their tragic deaths.
Gerry Vassar
President/CEO
